either way he was missing a nipple.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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