I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
