Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wish I could teleport
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
