like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize