All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
