Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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