i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
