After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
where are my eyebrows?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
