You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
