dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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