You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
