we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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