Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
