seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
