Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
