friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
