Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just want nice things and good sex
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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