i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize