We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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