You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
