I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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