How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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