Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
