So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
