woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
