perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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