i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
