I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
