I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He shit in the fireplace
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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