what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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