i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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