dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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