the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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