My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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