he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
