apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize