Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
