Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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