I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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