If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
