Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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