she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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