I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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