I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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