capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
