I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's shark week go big or go home
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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