I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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