sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
