at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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