So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
