He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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