I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
