i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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