So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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