roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
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