I hate your face
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
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