look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
