Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
