Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
