The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
