i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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