the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
