Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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