Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
