But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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