The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize