Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
