girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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