Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
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