Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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