put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
