the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize